Keys to Marital Bliss

Thoughts on what makes hubby and I tick…

~Hubs and I both dig cuddling…lots of cuddling.  Unless one of us is deathly ill, suffering from a life-threatening injury, or majorly overheated, we–at very least–go to sleep and wake up spooning.  On a typical morning, my alarm goes off at 6:15am and–shortly thereafter–I hear, “Hmmm nmm, wanna cuddle?”  It’s a nice way to get the day started off right, though a common side effect is staying in bed too long, thus having to rush my shower.

~Since we (I) don’t believe in “his” and “her” roles, we sat down and made a list of all the jobs around the house (and farm) that have to get done daily and/or weekly. Then we each picked a job one at a time until they were all taken. Hubby picked laundry and dishes. He owns lawn care and a bunch of other duties. I have cooking and cleaning stalls and a ton of other stuff. It works for us.

~We agree on a few key deal-breakers.  Cheating, smoking, and tattoos are all divorceable offenses.

~I occasionally eat tofu and soy products.  Hubs will try everything once, and from then on I have agreed to leave him–a happy man–alone with his beef.

~When I first met my husband, he proudly sported a mustache and a goatee.   I have sensitive skin and found the facial hair a little….honestly?…irritating,.  Our compromise?  The mustache met Mr. Razor.  Now we’re both happy.

~We kiss and say “I love you” before leaving the house every morning.

~Hubs has heroically shouldered the responsibility of playing Money Manager.  How very un-21st century of us, I know.  However, I appreciate a little distance from the very thing I stress over most in life.

~My husband is a creature of habit.  He avoids change like the plague.  I, on the other hand, am a schemer and a dreamer.  I like to come up with lots of plans, many of which will never reach fruition.  To combat the obvious frustration we’re prone to experiencing with each other, hubby has learned to adopt a “wait and see” approach to my ideas.  Oftentimes, I come up with a new idea before he’s required to submit an opinion on the old one.  And I have learned to propose change gradually, giving him time to digest before expecting a response.  It usually works.

~We have His and Hers dogs, just so no one gets jealous.

~Since I tend to swell like a rattlesnake bite when stung, bitten, or otherwise faced with nature, my hubby is kind enough to handle pests, poison ivy, and other flora and fauna that are out to get me.  The one exception?  Per hubby’s request I handle any stray spiders.

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Mr. & Mrs. and the Prince of the house

I moved some photos from my lap top to our desk top today.  They’re a hodge podge collection, mostly from the past year.  It was kinda fun looking through them.

I really like this photo of Tim and I–except Tim’s got ‘crazy eyes’ and I look like a humpback!  As you can tell from the date, it’s quite old.

I believe we may have been drunk in this photo 😉  And yes, we’re often that matchy matchy–it’s sad.

‘Prince’ Mick.  He knows who rules the house.

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It’s Time for Some Goals (101 in 1001)

It’s time for me to set a few goals in order to give myself specific targets to work toward over the next few years.  What it’s all about. 

The Mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past — frequently simple goals such as new year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities. 

Many thanks to Terra for unwittingly inspiring me to get motivated… 

     “If one moves confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”  —Henry David Thoreau

Start date: Today (Sunday, February 17, 2008)

End date: Monday, November 15, 2010

Striked=completed

Bold=in progress

Alverna’s 101 in 1001

Financial 

     1. Eliminate all consumer debt, including: my VISA & MasterCard, our Lowe’s card, my medical bill, and our parents’ generous “wedding expense” loans. 

     2. Put $5,000 in savings.

     3. Acquire a chest freezer so we can buy in bulk frozen foods to cut our grocery budget.

     4. Get overdraft protection on my checking account.

     5. Either expand the Wide Mouth Gifts I started or come up with some sort of on the side income. (See the results here, I’ve been working hard to make it more user-friendly.  Let me know what you think!)

Home/Farm Improvements 

     6. Replace the carpet in the kitchen with the snap together no-scratch slate look tile we’ve got picked out at Lowe’s.

     7. Replace the kitchen sink faucet with a stainless steel one (that doesn’t leak!).

     8. Install a drainage system around our barn. (3/19/08: I may not have been specific enough when I set this goal.  We’ve put in place a temporary solution–basically a sump pump in one of the storage stalls.  It’s helping tremendously for now.  However, I would like to have something better and more permanent eventually.)

     9. Replace the roof on the older half of our barn.

     10. Pick any manure in the arena and move the two sand piles that are currently in our pasture to the arena to improve the footing.

     11. Install a new wood fence section to separate the arena and the dry lot.

     12. Replace the chewed fence boards in the arena.  (March ’08; Thanks to my darling husband!)

     13. Replace the less attractive/functional boards on the run-in shed.  (March ’08; Also thanks to the Mr.–it was a joint goal!)

Career/Educational

     14. Find a job I love…or come to a place where I’m 100% happy with the one I have.

     15. Attend at least four continuing education seminars, at least two being equine-industry related. [0/4]

     16. Start our business, officially.  (3/19/08: It’s very,very close to becoming a reality…)

     17. Move the Bugh Equine Center website from Freewebs to a “real”, hosted website.

Self Improvement 

     18. Re-register to vote–once my name change becomes official.

     19. Locate a nonprofit organization with a cause I feel motivated by and volunteer with said organization.

     20. Lose ten pounds, and keep it off. [10/10]  (3/19/08: I actually lost ten pounds without really trying just because of all the work we’ve been doing on the barn…but I’m not crossing this one off because the goal was to lose AND keep it off.)

     21. Work with my neurologist to figure out the migraine prevention & treatment protocol that works best for me and I’m comfortable with using.

     22. Keep a headache journal for a year.

     23. Find a birth control method that I like.  (Suggestions are welcome ladies!)

     24. Write an article & get it published.

    25. Blog twice a week for at least one month. [2/8] (1, 2)

     26. Make a list of 100 things that make me happy.

     27. Climb a rock wall.

     28. Read the (Catholic) Bible from cover to cover.

     29. Read 25 other books–that I’ve never read before–in 2008. (Book suggestions anyone?) [1/25]  (3/19/08: Completed so far: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Steven R. Covey.  In progress: Equinomics: The Secrets to Making Money with Your Horse Business by Lanier Cordell, White Oleander by Janet Fitch, and THINK and GROW RICH by Napolean Hill)

     30. Read 30 books in 2009. [0/30]

     31. Read 25 books in 2010. [0/25]

     32. Visit the library down the road.  If it’s “safe”, get a library card.  If not, continue going to the library by our old apartment.  (February ’08; The security guard at the front door made me nervous, but it turns out our local library is OK.)

     33. Check out eight books on tape/CD in 2008.  Listen to them while driving to/from work. (These can count as the books I’m reading.) [2/8]  (3/19/08: 7 Habits & White Oleander are on CD.  I love this arrangement except–and this is no offense to the book/author–I had a little trouble staying awake while driving while listening to 7 Habits.  Apparently between 7-8am is not my optimal hour for self-motivation, which is good to know!)

     34. Do 100 sit-ups a night for two weeks. [0/14]

     35. Pray daily for a month. [0/30]

     36. Attend mass every Sunday for six months. [1/24]  (Mass 3/16/08)

     37. Attend mass for all Holy Days of Obligation for one year. [0/10] 

Personal 

     38. Take ballroom dance lessons with my husband (his idea, not mine 🙂 ). 

     39. Find (and buy) a pair of sunglasses I actually like (and that fit me!).

     40. Remove clothes from my wardrobe that I don’t like or don’t fit me.  Replace with clothes I like and will actually wear.  The end result should be a wardrobe I love!

     41. Find and buy functional and attractive sleepwear…then throw out all of the old, over-sized tee’s I usually wear.

     42. Find and buy a dress I can wear in the winter.

     43. Find and buy something slinky and sexy to wear for my husband.

     44. Find makeup that doesn’t make me break out and matches my skin tone.

     45. Mail a postcard to Post Secret.

     46. Get a massage.

     47. Get a facial.

     48. Take a cooking class.

     49. Travel outside the continental US.

     50. Take my husband whitewater rafting.

     51. Go horseback riding on the beach.  Somewhere warm.  Anywhere.

     52. Call or email my mom at least twice a week.

     53. Become a big sister for Big Brothers Big Sisters.

     54. Make at least two new, permanent friends in Dayton. [0/2]

     55. Have lunch with at least one “long lost friend”.

     56. Go to a concert.

     57. Have our wedding photos printed & put them in an album.

     58. Put together my cookbook.

     59. Cook 20 new recipes. [0/20]

     60. Visit either NYC or Chicago.

     61. Learn & practice monthly breast self exams for a year. [0/12]

     62. Find 10 new restaurants, coffee shops, or hang out spots within 15 minutes of our house. [0/10]

     63. Go on an overnight mother/daughter trip with my mom.

     64. Give blood at least four times per year. [0/10]

     65. Try five new foods, preferably foreign. [0/5]

     66. Take my husband to a strip club, just for the heck of it!

     67. Join a local hobby group.

     68. Buy a quality digital camera.

     69. Go to a drive-in movie.

     70. Buy a new lap top.

     71.  Plan a girl’s weekend road trip.

     72.  Plan a romantic trip for my husband and I.

     73. Go snorkeling.

     74. Golf 18 holes…note I don’t have any performance goal!

     75. Write and mail 2008 & 2009 Christmas letters.

     76. Show Pea (my OTTB) in-hand and under saddle.

     77. Take Pea to either a RPSI or a Trakehner breed inspection.

     78. Get Pea in foal to a warmblood stallion.

     79. Send a non-special occasion card to someone who’s family and someone who’s not.  (3/17/08: I mailed a “Hope” card to my Grandpa, who’s 82 and fell last week.  He broke a bunch of little bones in his hand…and now he’s grouchy because Grandma’s “making” him walk with a cane so it doesn’t happen again!) 

     80. Finish a knitting or cross stitch project.

     81. Have one of our wedding photos blown up to 16″x20″ and framed…and hang it above the fireplace.

    82. Write my husband a love note every week for a month (email counts). [1/4]

     83. Buy a cute corset–and wear it.

     84. Visit Cheryl, Scott, and the girls in Cleveland.

     85. Learn how to make at least one fancy dessert.

     86. Take a completely spontaneous getaway trip.

     87. Go bowling at least four times. [0/4]

     88. Take my little brothers on a day trip.

     89. Spend a weekend with my oldest brother.

     90. Go to a wine tasting event.

     91. Give a massage.

     92. Ride in a “Hunt” at the Miami Valley Hunt.

     93. Get tipsy in good company.

     94. Ride at least twice a week for six months, providing the weather is decent.  [0/48]

     95. Face a fear. 

     96. Go naked for a day.

     97. Make love outdoors.

     98. Learn one good joke.

     99. Leave work on time every day for a week. [0/7]

     100. Figure out which charity is most meaningful to me.

     101. Donate $5 to that charity for each unfinished item on this list.

        

    

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