Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘friendship’

On August 15th, 2009 around 3 o’clock on the afternoon, you would have found me on I-95 driving North from our vacation spot in NorthCarolina to Richmond, VA.  You would also have found me practically hyperventilating with nervous excitement.  Why such excitement over LEAVING the beach, you ask?  Because I was on my way to “meet” my best friend from 13 years ago. 

Yes, T and I were inseparable back then.  So many of my happiest childhood memories include our crazy fun times together.  In many ways, we were so very different–she was totally spontaneous, I was a planner; she was a wild child to my (perceived) sensibilities; I’d pretty much grown up in one place, while she had moved often.  Despite our differences, we went together like bees and honey.  We were both talkative, opinionated, independent tom-boys.  When we weren’t providing nanny services for our younger sibs (a task made more bare-able by each others’ company), we were usually exploring the fields, woods, and streams around our homes in our shorts and tees.  (Who needed shoes!?)  We were two free spirits learning where we wanted to make our place in the world. 

Friends are life’s finest blessings. “Friend” and “free” are from the same root word; perhaps because you are free to be yourself with a friend.”
~Author Unknown

We were both gangly–all arms and legs and left feet–but we were gangly together, so it was OK.  Together, T and I discovered boys.  It happened to be the same boy, but our friendship survived just fine.  We also discovered our mutual hatred of geese and love of 4-H.  We formed unique, mature-beyond-our-years opinions about marriage, families, babies, birth, education, and women.  Not necessarily the same opinions, but different opinions, especially compared with other girls our age.  We shared our deepest secrets, desires, and dreams.  Life was pretty awesome with T.

Then, one day, T and her mom and sister moved away.  I was heartbroken, but I made new friends.  They weren’t as uniquely awesome as T, but they were great friends in their own right.  My biggest regret was that I hadn’t been able to keep in touch when she moved away.

About 11 years came and went.  I graduated from high school and college.  I moved to a new city, and then another.  I occasionally thought of my long lost bestie, T.  I even Googled her once or twice, but came up empty handed.  Then, one day, I up and decided that I WAS going to find T.  If Google could tell me anything ELSE, then by gosh it would find her for me, too.  (A teeny bit stalkerish, I know, but this was important.)  It took some time, but I finally found her!  (Yay for Google and social networking sites!) 

Our  “reunion” was bittersweet, at least for me.  I was incredibly happy to have found her, but wanted so badly to see her in the flesh.  See, she lived in Virginia and I lived in Ohio.  Oh well, at least she isn’t in China, I thought.  It could be worse.  I promised myself that sometime, somehow, we would visit.  And so, while planning our Summer ’09 Outer Banks vacation, I convinced hubby that we should travel home via Richmond, VA.

And there I was, driving through Richmond on my way to T and her husband’s house…flipping out.  I didn’t really know what to expect–could our friendship pick up where we’d left off, or would it be awkward and weird?–thus, my heart was trying to jump out of my chest.

As soon as we walked up to the front porch and I saw T waiting with open arms (jumping up and down!), I knew it was all going to be great.  Absolutely, wonderfully great.  And it was.

A good friend is a connection to life – a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.”
~Lois Wyse

T understands parts of me that no other friend of mine can.  I can still tell her anything, absolutely anything.  I wish, fervently, that she could be a bigger part of my day-to-day life.  That we could travel the road to the future side-by-side.  Don’t get me wrong, the Internet is terrific, but it’s just not the same.  And while I have wonderful, awesome friends here in Ohio, there’s just no one else in the world quite like T.

Alverna and Terra

Reunion

As I look back on all that’s happened..growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me — there were times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those days, I realize how much I truly miss you and how much I truly love you. The past may be gone forever..and whatever the future holds, our todays make the memories of tomorrow. So, my lifetime friend, it is with all my heart that I send you my love, hoping that you’ll always carry my smile with you, for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold.”
~Author Unknown

Read Full Post »

“Friends”

My mother-in-law sends me several forward emails a week.  Yes, they’re often cheesy.  But it’s nice because it’s a way for us to feel like we’re staying in touch…and I don’t feel like I have to read my email right away if I’m busy.  The latest one was just so cute, I have to share it:

A sharp tongue cuts me first. 
If I want my dreams to come true, I mustn’t oversleep.
Of all the things I wear, my expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends… B1.  
The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts.
The heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge. 
One thing I can give and still keep is my word. 
I lie the loudest when I lie to myself.
If I lack the courage to start, I have already finished. 
One thing I can’t recycle is wasted time. 
Ideas won’t work unless ‘I ‘ do. 
My mind is like a parachute… it functions only when open.  
The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice. 
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!
It is never too late to become what I might have been. 
Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we’ve let them fly away. Sometimes we are so caught up in who’s right and who’s wrong that we forget what’s right and wrong. Sometimes we just don’t realize what real friendship means until it is too late. I don’t want to let that happen, so I’m gonna tie you to my heart so I never lose you.
 ~
Over the past several years I’ve slowly been losing a very special childhood friend. 
Unfortunately,  I took our friendship for granted and thought our relationship was completely hunky dory.  I’m all too much like a guy, I guess, in that I’m not a constant chatter-er.  I’d call her up to chat, oh, once a month or so, and we’d catch up as if the last time we’d talked was the day before.  Or so I thought.  I forgot how much effort a friendship needs in order to stay strong.  And sometimes honesty isn’t the best approach–I have the tendency to be overly honest. 
So for the first six months or so I was silently losing my friend without realizing it.  When I got engaged, asked her to be my maid of honor, and she declined–at the same time spilling her guts that I had been neglecting our friendship for quite some time–now that was my wake up call.  And by that time, it was too late.  By the time I knew enough to say anything, it was too late and–in her mind–there was no longer anything worth being said.  Since then, I’ve had to watch my friend fly away, realizing that it’s not as simple as tying someone to you to keep them forever.  Once you’ve hurt them, it’s too late.   

Read Full Post »