Poetry

Concentration Camp

 

A midnight sphere.

Everything

veiled in mud.

Shadowed.

 

A Ghost.

Followed by 2,000

Reflections.

Dead.

 

One need,

one plea–

where there could be

a million…

Food.

 

I stand,

starving

freezing

dying

dead.

 

I too,

am a ghost.

I too,

yearn for one thing:

Food.

 

But I am no longer inside,

looking out,

but outside,

looking in.

 

I am free,

a spirit with wings.

I am the butterfly

on the outside

of the fence.

 

~Alverna Hess, sophomore

Our Hands, 1998-1999 Federal Hocking High School Literary Magazine

Taking Action

Lately, I’ve fallen into an old (and slightly destructive) habit at work.  I over-analyze relationships with my coworkers and bring home mental baggage to think about into the wee hours.

I need to take a little advice from Emerson:

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Unfortunately, my over-analyzing is based upon very real, very present conflict.  This conflict has been going on for a few weeks.  However, I’m not the root cause: it involves me in that I’m caught in the middle between two other parties and it stems from a lack of consistency. 

Have I mentioned that I loathe inconsistency?

This conflict is also based 90% on office politics.

I’m also very anti political posturing.

But, I love my coworkers.  And I like my job pretty well, too.  And so, it was time to do something.

So…I met with my supervisor and discussed the situation with her.  And met with another co-worker who was involved to clear the air.

And now, while the political aspect is never going to go away, and the inconsistency has yet to be resolved, the tension among personnel has been almost completely eliminated.  Time will tell if this is a long-term solution, but I am much happier for the time being. 

I have to admit, I’m sort of proud of myself for making the first move to take action, braving that old foe–conflict, and moving forward instead of continuing to let the situation fester.

Quote to live by:

From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.”

~Anais Nin

Einstein and such

I had planned to write a post venting about my day.  See, there were a lot of reasons for me to hate today. 

First off, it was Monday, which automatically gives it negative points. 

Second, I had to work.  See, I normally have Monday’s off…which I love, by the way.  However, I had to work today so that I could have the day after Thanksgiving off. 

Third, I began this Monday at work by unintentionally providing my arm as a doggie chew toy.  Said doggie had big teeth and he knew how to use them. 

Oh, and the list goes on.  But…I’m not venting, remember?

I decided to try to make this a positive post.

Or, at least a thoughtful one.  Mr. Albert Einstein’s going to assist me with that one.

This is the quote I’ve been reflecting on this evening:

I am neither especially clever nor especially gifted. I am only very, very curious.”

~Albert Einstein

See, I want very much to be “smart”.  Most of the time I don’t feel intelligent though.  I’m constantly thinking of all the things I don’t know.  Or the things I used to know, but have since forgotten.  (Periodic Table, whhaat!?)  I know I’ll never be an Einstein (the man was the living definition of genius-ness), but knowing that HE didn’t know everything there is to know makes me feel a tiny bit better about my (far greater) intellectual shortcomings.

What brought this line of thought on, you ask?

Grad school.

Honestly, it scares the beejeebees out of me, but I’m becoming increasingly more game the longer I ponder the possibilities.

November Goals

I’m not even sure it’s possible, but I’m hoping that November is even more productive than October!

To-do for this month:

1. Write Christmas lists.

2. Read 3 books, possibly including:

1. In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto by Michael Pollan
2. Magic Burns by Ilona Andrews
3. The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger or My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult

3. Winterize my garden, front flower bed, and both side beds. 

4. Find & purchase a soap dish.  (This may sound way easy, but it’s really not.)

5. Make mulled wine.

6. Complete my barely started knitting project. 

7. Get a group together to go see ”The Twilight Saga: New Moon”.

8. Try a new type of wine.

9. Make dish(es)–pie(s), mashed potatoes, etc.–for Thanksgiving dinner!

10. Buy at least two Christmas presents. 

11. Pick up manure in arena & haul at least 10 loads of sand into the arena. 

12. Ride my horse at least 3 times per week.

October Goal Recap

I’m not really sure why, but October was a bit of a crazy month for me.  Goals were a good thing, even if they didn’t all get completed!  And I already started my list for November!

Here’s the post-month report:

1. Find & purchase at least one bookcase.  No - I located one on Craigslist, but then got the flu and it was gone by the time I was up to trying to go get it.

2. Look for a new dining room table.  Yes – I looked.  Didn’t find anything though. 

3. Find & purchase a photo album for our wedding photos.  Yes, love it!  Also ordered the first 100 pictures & they’re ready for their new home. 

4. Winterize my garden, front flower bed, and both side beds.  No. 

5. Place a ”for sale” ad for my horse.  Yes. 

6. Update boarding ad(s).  Yes. 

7. Complete my barely started knitting project.  No.

8. Mail care package.  Yes.

9. Buy at least one Christmas present.  No. 

10. Figure out our holiday plans.  Partially – hubby’s family knows what they’re doing, but my family likes to procrastinate  

11. Pick up manure in arena & haul at least 10 loads of sand into the arena.  Partially - I’ve hauled 3 wheelbarrows full of poop out, but have a LONG way to go. 

12. Take hubby to Columbus for his now belated birthday weekend.  Yes – and it was awesome.  See pics here. 

13. Meet up with some old friends at the Circleville Pumpkin Show October 21-24.  No – it rained all day…and have I mentioned that I’m a fair-weather-only kinda person?  I was very bummed we didn’t make it though.

14. Donate to a charity.  Yes - I donated to Robyn’s Nest, a non-profit animal rescue and adoption organization.

15. Read at least 3 books.  Yes - 4, actually.

16. Request absentee ballot for Nov. 3 election.  Yes – voted AND convinced hubby to vote, too!

October Books

Gone to the Dogs by Emily Carmichael

Chic lit, way girly, only finished it ’cause the main character is a Corgi and I’m a sucker for stubby, fox-faced canines.  Nothing wrong with the book, it’s just not my style.

Dead and Gone by Charlaine Harris

Best Sookie Stackhouse book yet.  Loved it!  Sookie’s character has never been boring, but I find it difficult to identify with her.  (Blond, busty,  promiscuous, and usually ditzy–not too much in common.)  In Dead and Gone, she jumped off the page a bit more for me.  Now I really can’t wait for book #10 (due out May ‘10).

Dancing with Werewolves by Carole Nelson Douglas

Urban fantasy filled with buku amounts of old-timey/classic film and lit references.  This book was littered with crassness which–in my opinion–was unnecessary and didn’t add to the story.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with vulgarity when well placed, but I felt the book was cheapened rather than enhanced by the language.  Very unique writing style–which I admire–but ultimately the book wasn’t my favorite.

Magic Bites by Ilona Andrews

Another urban fantasy novel, this one featuring Kate Daniels, who by the way just might be my new favorite heroine.  Kate is a mercenary whose specialty is killing supernatural monsters.  She’s kick ass, has a big mouth, and pretty much takes care of herself.  She also has a proper appreciation for good horse, which makes her just about perfect in my book.  In Kate’s world, there’s been a magical apocalypse leaving a conflict between magic and tech (technology).  Sometimes electricity, cars, and such work, but, during magic influxes, the world changes drastically.  I’ll definitely read Andrews’ next Kate Daniels book, Magic Burns.

Things That Make Me Happy IV

The completion of #26, my list of 100 things that make me happy:

1. Naps.
2. Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream.  (And I don’t even like cherries, go figure.)
3. Lasagna & garlic bread.
4. Pay day.
5. Thinking about going back to school for my Master’s degree.
6. Greek mythology.
7. Comedians.
8. Potlucks.
9. The Burrito Buggy (unfortunately for me, it’s in Athens, Ohio).
10. Waterfalls.
11. Onion rings.
12. Rainbows.
13. Sunflowers.
14. Volunteer plants in my garden.
15. Giving/receiving a smile.
16. Receiving random email/texts from my oldest brother.
17. Hearing my younger brothers’ voices on the phone.
18. Clay face masks.
19. Watching Kori (the Corgi dog) rub his face.
20. Mimosas.
21. Back scratches from my hubby.
22. A barn full of gorgeous hay.
23. Fresh shavings in the horses’ stalls.
24. Headache-free days.
25. When my husband calls me to tell me he’s on his way home.

Things That Make Me Happy III

Still working on #26, my list of 100 things that make me happy.  This has actually been way more fun than I had thought it might be!  Here’s #51-#75:

1. Clean sheets.
2. A good run.
3. Warm, freshly baked bread.
4. When my husband sings to me.
5. Black & white photographs.
6. That time in the spring when I break out my flip-flops again.
7. The color blue.
8. Pickles.
9. Seeing a movie in the theater.
10. A toasted bagel with cream cheese.
11. The feel of freshly shaved legs.
12. My aunt’s apple pie.
13. Doggie play dates, especially when my mutt-dog behaves.
14. Penn Station french fries.  LOVE THEM!
15. Thanksgiving with the Hesses.  Turkey Day is my favorite holiday!
16. Visiting my Aunt Nancy & Uncle Ed at their farm in Pennsylvania.
17. White Elephant gift exchanges at Christmas.
18. Learning new things.
19. Ace-ing tests.
20. Eating dinner out.
21. Getting my Practical Horseman magazine in the mail.
22. The full moon.
23. Boats, even though I get slightly motion-sick.
24. True Blood on HBO, and House and Fringe on Fox.
25. Ferrets.

Things That Make Me Happy II

#26-#50 for my list of 100 things that make me happy (#26):

1. A successful grocery shopping trip.  To me, successful means I’ve gotten some awesome deals and have an interesting menu for the week.
2. Free photos from Shutterfly.
3. A good haircut.  (Which is rare for me!)
4. Finding deals & steals on Craigslist.
5. Babies.  Baby people, baby kittens, baby puppies, baby horses, baby anything!
6. Planting things in my garden.
7. Picking veggies from my garden.
8. Horse movies!
9. Homemade chili & cornbread.
10. Going to the library.
11. Finding new clothes/shoes that I love.  (Doesn’t happen very often.)
12. Traveling to new places.
13. Finding new favorite websites on the internet.
14. Making–and then crossing things off–my to-do lists.
15. Bookstores.
16. Campfires/bonfires, especially with marshmallows.
17. Finding a new favorite author.
18. Weddings.
19. Comments/messages/friend requests from Facebook and WordPress.
20. Hot tea in the morning on my way in to work.
21. Getting my stocking at Christmas.  It makes me feel like a kid again.
22. Victoria’s Secret.
23. House shopping, even though we’re NOT looking.
24. Waking up early, getting lots done, and then taking a nap.
25. Ice cream in general, Coldstone and Graeter’s ice cream in particular.

Christmas List 2009

My mother-in-law called hubby yesterday to remind us that she needs our Christmas lists ASAP, because it’s only 8 weeks until Christmas!  Yes, it’s that time of year again!

Let me preface the list by explaining why I’m writing a Christmas list at 26.  No, it’s not because I’m a spoiled brat.  Actually, in my family adult Christmas lists aren’t really done.  In hubby’s family, however, they’re expected…and the earlier in the year the better.  I have to say, I’ve come to value the beauty of the Christmas list.  It allows family who want to give a gift to do so in an enlightened way, rather than taking a blind stab in the dark. 

So, when I write my Christmas list, I’m not saying “yo, buy me shit”, I’m saying, “hey, if you happen to want to get me a gift and need an idea, I’ll helpfully supply some.”  And of course I appreciate the same, for those in my family who care to write a list of their own.

And, here it is:

1. Lowe’s gift card.

2. Showcase Cinemas gift card.

3. JoAnn Fabrics gift card.

4. Victoria’s Secret gift card.

5. Little black dress, size 6, black (obviously ).

6. Windbreaker/water-proof jacket, size M, somewhat fitted.

Hush Puppies Bassa in Dark Brown Leather

7. Brown shoes, size 9.5, with 1.5″ or less heel.

Dressage Socks

8. Tall doggie/kitty/horse socks.

9. Satin PJ’s and/or a nightshirt, size M, extra tall, any color.

10. Down or fleece vest, size M, somewhat fitted, extra long–i.e. long enough to cover my hips, any color except pink.

11. Blue London jeans, size 8, 36″ inseam, mid rise, dark wash.

12. Pressure canner.

13. Herbal teas.

P.S. Kori and Karli dictated their Christmas list to me.  They want doggie treats.  And Earthbath all natural doggie deodorizing spritz.  And more treats.  Micky says he just wants tuna.

What’s on YOUR holiday list this year?